she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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