i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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