okay pat passed out under dana's car
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
