You can't motorboat a personality
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize