remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 ðŸžðŸ·
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
