She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
