You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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