Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
