We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
