another moral hangover. fuck.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
