cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
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