Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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