nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
