Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
