Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
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