Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
