So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
