I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
