Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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