I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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