apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
