we have officially lost it.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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