Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just google imaged poop.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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