Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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