I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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