everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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