just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
