Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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