So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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