she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
even my farts smell like vagina
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
