It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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