Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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