I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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