based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
