i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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