with your own penis?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Mom said you looked used
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
