Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
