Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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