did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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