So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
