Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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