Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
