let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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