how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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