Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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