We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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