yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
