fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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