I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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