we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
