I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We need to get me chipped asap
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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