no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
