Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
