I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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