p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
