dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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