Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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