It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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