the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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