I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
