Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
