You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
