Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
