I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
