He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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