you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
