Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
farters have to be the big spoon...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
