She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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