awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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