I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You need a sexual gate keeper
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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