I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
